by Vanisha Uppal.
In the year 2010, I had an intense inner desire to read Bhagavad Gita. After reading it for a couple of times, I realised that somehow, somewhere I was missing the point, so I read it again and again. Each time I discovered a new insight which, it seemed had never been told before. I felt Krishna was telling something, which was hidden behind the literal words. It was difficult to understand what needed to be done. Only thing I understood was that I should follow my heart or else not following my heart would eat me up.
My destiny had a plan for me and I was ready to receive it. My grandmother’s death became the turning point in my life. To cremate her ashes, our whole family went to Haridwar. After completing the rituals, we all decided to go to Rishikesh, to a known ashram near Triveni Ghat. After spending two days in peace, on the third and last day of our trip, my Papa, my sister and myself went to Triveni Ghat early morning. The view of the river Ganga and the Ghat caught my eye. I did not want to leave the sight of it, however, my sister dragged me away from it.
We were back in Delhi. I started getting some beautiful dreams connected to the river and water. Something was pulling me from inside. One day, I packed up my little bag for no reason at all and took a night bus to Haridwar. I got down in early morning somewhere in Haridwar. I took an auto and went to Triveni Ghat with a plan to be there for three days. The view of Ganga gave me immense happiness. The whole first day I was sitting at bank of river, doing nothing, watching the water flowing, taking an occasional bath and eating very little.
Next day, by afternoon, I suddenly became very sad. While walking on the bank of the river, I asked God “Why am I here and how do I attain you?” Immediatly I got the answer from inside,“reach no-duality”. I asked again, “Tell me the way to reach to no-duality”. I kept waiting but no reply came. In the evening out of nothing, I had a desire to buy my birth stone. From where to get it? I remembered my visit to Rishikesh in childhood; there were many gem shops near LaxmanJhula.
Next morning I took an auto and went to Laxman Jhula, got down in front of Kriya Yoga Ashram Gate. I overlooked that, silly of me, and went straight to closest gem shop and bought my birth stone. Soon after that I got a phone call from a friend, in the middle of the conversation, very causally he mentioned about Kriya Yoga teaching in Rishikesh. Don’t know why the word Kriya Yoga was all over my mind. “If I am here then why not look for Kriya Yoga”. I intensively started looking all around, without any clue about Kriya Yoga. I walked down the whole mountain and around the Ganga and became very tired. I finally reached across to the other end, up to Ram Jhula. I stopped by at Shivananda Ashram and asked, “Is there any Kriya Yoga learning centre near by”. They told me, you just passed it in the back.
Mystically, my starting point was my destination, I guess I had to make whole journey to realise this. It did not take me long to decide that I would like to come back next month for the Kriya Retreat which would be conducted by Master Per. I neither saw any website nor read anything about Master, yet I was extremely happy to enrol myself for the course.
It was the 6th of September 2014, first time, I saw Master at the initiation and I still remember his deep blue eyes, humble nature, yet having confidence like a lion. His silence needed no introduction. He was very different from the conventional and tradition Sadhus. He was not wearing any outer symbolic signs, like orange dress, beard and an attitude of having attained so much.
Everyone feels so comfortable with him like being with a true friend. He treats everyone equally. He neither brags about himself, nor does he give any theoretical knowledge. He inspires others to practice and to have their own experiences during the retreat. His teaching is to the essence.
His guided words, during the practice, always help me to go deeper in my own being. I was eagerly waiting to hear his voice in middle of the practice. His whole being is filled with so much of silence. His mere presence and voice is a complete meditation. At first I thought how he can teach the most difficult thing ‘to meet the true self’, in the most simple way, where as others have written big books and talked great on spirituality. But now I know, that the one who knows the subject so very well, can only teach and make it simple for others. Before every session I close my eyes with Master’s vision, sitting on chair with white shawl on his legs, that is the magical view for me.
My first two residential retreats, I willingly maintained maximum outer quietness. I watched master coming out of his room and going for long walks. His presence changes the whole atmosphere of the place. He carries an aura of light with himself. People around him are touched by the joy of freedom and love. Instantly a poem surfaced from the bottom of my heart after the first retreat with him.
During those days, I was sitting on the first floor, the glass door was closed, no one from outside could see inside. I saw master came out from his room; he wore his shoes and gave one glance to the glass door, as if something was pulling him towards upstairs. He hesitantly took one step up and after a little wait he took one more step. I was watching this and thought; “Would he climb up to me or will he just turn around and go for his walk, I have come a long way in search of him, he should also find me too”. Slowly he hesitated but climbed to the last platform and immediately I opened the door. He was very happy to see to me and I too was. He sat with me and asked some questions. It was a ten minute talk. His presence intoxicated me.
I went back home after the retreat, two things I was sure, first Kriya Yoga is meant for me and second I would join Master every time he comes to India for a retreat.I took the practice very sincerely. In meditation I got connected with him, I could feel his presence, it was very strong. I eagerly waited for next retreat, literally counting the days.
Master Per has lived his whole life while handling the duality in the most beautiful way. He does it effortlessly, we however makes tremendous efforts to reach to the silence, which we are unable to sustain for long. Managing to hold on to the inner silence for a longer time is itself a great task. We easily fall back to restlessness and duality. Whereas, he swiftly travels from ‘duality’ to ‘no-duality’ and sustains it. He says “More silence inside improves everything in life”. He supports his disciples in all possible way. Master has ability to speed up one’s progress and give the experience of beyond if one is in regular practice.
He taught me how to breathe as if I have never taken breath in the same way before.
My feelings in a Poem
MASTER
An Aspiring face of moon after dark night
Like a fragrance spread through and might
Just looking at him, all my doubts are gone
All questions are answered in his silence drawn
He knows everything, how can one hide,
An Aspiring face of moon after dark night
His silent presence is greater than million words,
He knows how and when to guide
He spends his lonely long hours in bringing down the light,
Just to give our soul a greater height
An Aspiring face of moon after dark night
His looks pour nectar on our rough and dry restless souls,
The words he utter as instruction are so very pure,
Just we have to be receptive to get it right,
His love is infinite and selfless, he doesn’t hold anyone so tight
What if he is physical apart, that does not make him too far,
He is in my heart, I can feel him and sees him beside.
An Aspiring face of moon after dark night